I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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