Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There r osticjed everywhere
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
