Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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