i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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