Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize