Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
