your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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