I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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