To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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