and you said cock pushups were impossible
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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