He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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