look no pants
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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