haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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