That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
