He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
