You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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