Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it was like eating out sand paper
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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