Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
