i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
