Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
