So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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