We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
