she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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