so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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