Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ketchup is God's man juice
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
