Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
