oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
