my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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