Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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