her vagine was all disorganized.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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