the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Come share oat with me in your robe
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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