i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
