I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
