So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
