so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
