A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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