sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
