His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So squirting runs in the family.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
