Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
