dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
