Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
