So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You were trust falling into bushes
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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