He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
