if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
