it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you would pick up someone in the library
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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