Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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