He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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