I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
