Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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