How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
