yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
