like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize