So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
