I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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