i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
