So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
