THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
