You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you know youโre single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but youโre too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
