i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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