we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
